The Donkeys on Pleasantview Road

Day 23: People of the Resurrection

 

Ooh baby, Asa took a real digger tonight. I would say he fell right on his head, but it appeared it was more on his forehead-elbow-nose-knee. Anyways, he tumbled right over the handlebars on his bike going about uberfast mph downhill on our road. Apparently the urge to be ALL BOY superceded the maternal urging of "take it slow, keep your brakes on at all times". You know you're a mother of boys when you are simply grateful no bones are broken (although his white t-shirt was speckled with red blood). My sister, who is really sensitive to others pain, would have probably passed out. Lucky Asa, I'm insensitive. :)

One second we were a family enjoying the warmth and wind; the next moment we are holding Asa together with blue shop towels from my neighbors garage and some ice in a baggy Mr. Bluetruck dug out of the chest freezer. As he gave us a ride home in that blue truck I asked a question I have been curious about for a few weeks. I casually asked what the new fence they have been building was for. Apparently Momma Bluetruck is going to rescue 2 donkeys. This is funny, you see, because that is precisely what her son was doing right at that moment.

I could draw some great analogy about when we topple over our handle bars and get bloody and broken God is there to hold us together with whatever tools he can find.  Or I could compare my warnings about going slow and using your brakes to the lessons Jesus shares in parable after parable. Lesson that go unheaded. Lastly, I could bring in those jackasses as final symbolism of my stupidity, Asa's stubbornness, and how no fence is strong enough to contain man's pride.

But alas, I am going to snuggle with Asa just a bit longer, I'm going to say my prayer of thanksgiving that he is home asleep in his bed with only skin wounds and I am going to tighten the helmet policy at the Tarjeson household no matter how much whining I hear from the minors. No righteous message here, just broken people living post-resurrection.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Day 22: Time of the People of the Resurrection

I admit it, in a lot of ways I am a slacker mom. At least by today's standards my kids are under-involved, under-active, and under-scheduled. Some of this is because their mom is a bit "over" in some of these areas. But mostly it is because I relish in seeing them build forts out of rubbish behind my dad's old shed. I savor the dirty hands, faces, and feet they track into the house after playing outside all day. I pray over the relationships they are forming with their siblings, these life-long friendships that will be part of a legacy we as parents leave to them.

No, Colby probably won't have a shot at pro-ball since I didn't start him early in T-ball. Paige may never break the child-actress scene since I won't drive her to long-distance auditions (or even short distance ones for that matter). Asa . . . shucks for all of Asa's creative genius, he won't master the stroke of a paintbrush till he's in his 20's at least. But . . . I think they'll be fine. I think they'll have these fond memories of 6-acres in the clay soil with dogs, wild rabbits, and the valley wind chasing them. I can see their memories playing out into the future with sleds in dirty white snow and bikes jostling on the gravel driveway. They're memories will latch onto their childhood like the burdock's that catch in their warm winter coat and Zeke's once velvet tail.

Don't get me wrong, families who make other decisions about their time are also going to have great memories of trips to games and family bonding over these activities. Please take no offense if your schedule is pleasantly busy. But if it's a bit more crowded than you'd like, if the carpool van and the soccer mom that drives it are beat down tired; if your weekend feels like a full-time job and your kids can't remember what the purpose of that flat piece of wood on four legs in the dining room; then it might be time to simplify. Living simply doesn't have to mean dirty kids either (this just happens to be the case for me)! 

Find the things that you want your family to remember most, chances are they will cost no money to encourage and will require traveling no further than your own backyard. Put away the keys, turn of the tech, and focus in on the blessing of this family and this moment.

The most daring words anyone can say!

Day 21: The Generous People of the Resurrection

We are called to be generous. Research shows that it is even one of several things people have as a need for successful human development: Independence, Belonging, Mastery and Generosity. People need to feel as though they are contributing to something meaningful. They need to feel as though they are part of something larger than themselves: their community, their country, their world! (O.k. now I'm officially speaking 4-H )

But fulfilling this need isn't just about donating money, or being kind to someone. It's about being able to identify a need, joyfully take action to meet the need, and actually make a positive impact around you!

With Christ, being generous is about serving him, serving his people, and expressing gratitude in the blessings he has given you. It is about allowing him to use the church and all of the parts within it (including you) to strengthen and encourage one another. It is about remembering that when you feel weak he is strongest and can do for others through you. Ah my Thursday morning friends taught me this: He does not call the equipped, he equips the called. So don't wait for the right time, tools, or talents. Be generous NOW. TODAY. GO. Say those daring words loudly, HERE I AM LORD SEND ME. He will actually do it.

(Why are you still reading this, go on with getting generous already?!?!?)

Go Ahead . . . Make My Decisions

Day 20: People of the Resurrection

I have "discovered" a fun new website that makes me giggle at http://dailyoddcompliment.tumblr.com/. This site, created by writer Logan Rhoades posts a fun and odd compliment each day. I love reading thoughts that actually reflect how I think, and here there are plenty of them. Have you ever thought about what it'd be like to have a thought bubble follow you around all the time and have your thoughts posted inside it? No? O.k. so that's just me then. But if this actually happened, the comments from this site would be like the ones in my thought bubble. For example, one of these daily odd compliments claims "My life would be a lot easier if you just made every decision for me."

This is something that I have thought often when around many, many people. Not just your run of the mill control freaks either. I remember being a young woman begging my mother for even a bit of advice while she would methodically force me to think out and solve problems for myself. I hated it. Yeah, yeah what a great mom . . . she taught me such a valuable lesson. Blagh! The only reason it's valuable is because NO ONE is willing to make my decisions for me.

Even this God of ours gave me free will!?!?!?! Doesn't he know how dangerous I will be with that? Doesn't he know that left to my own devices I can royally mess this life up for myself and maybe even for some other people he cares about?  He has to know that I am q clumsy, prideful sinner-girl!? Wouldn't so many things about this life just be easier for  everyone if he just made every decision for me? I imagine I would not wound him deeply as I often do.

No instead, I am told, he wants us to come to him willingly. He wants our relationship to be genuine and true. He wants me to ask for his assistance with all matters. He desires me to make my own decisions using the gifts that he has given to me. That is not to say it is I who has done anything right. The gift of a relationship with him is always there. He infuses the power of the Holy Spirit into me. He sent his son to atone for me. He provides grace that is sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Now, that I think about it, there really isn't much left for me to do. He even provides law and gospel for me when making the decisions I have to make.

So today, I got mad at Big D when he wouldn't tell me what to wear for our church directory picture. Big D reminds me that when decisions like that are made for me I rarely listen to them anyway. Asa gave me some wise 5-year old advice tonight. I can't even tell you what it was, but I do remember responding with "Don't tell me what to do little man." Hmmm sounds like I might just not relish the whole "make my decisions for me" thing after all. The hardest thing about being People of the Resurrection is being left to make our own decisions in a flawed and crazy world. But it is also a gift to bless our days as People of the Resurrection.

Wheelchairs, Bendy Beds and Scrubs OH MY!

Day 19: Mothers of the Resurrection

I love to laugh, and most of all I love to laugh with my mother. Today my mother blessed St. Lukes Hospital up and down with her sarcasm, teasing and goodnatured laughter. It was a blessing to me to hear all kinds of people tell me how much they loved serving my mother. I thoroughly enjoyed serving her today as well. Thank you God for the gift of my mother!

360 Degree Effect

Day 18: People of the Resurrection

Given my recent 'choice' use of words, I decided to pray before I blog from now on.

Been praying a lot today actually. I found myself ready ten minutes before I needed to be so I decided to stop and pray before I headed out the door. At first look, prayer is an incredibly unique experience for everyone isn't it? Some people can read a prayer using words that someone else came up with. Some people have prayers that are memorized (I think they are called rote prayers). Some have stream-of-consciousness prayers (this is often where I am at). And yet there are times when nothing will suffice but carefully chosen and intentional words spoken aloud (this is where I was this morning).

Prayer is unique in that everyone calling upon the Lord, giving thanks and beseeching him is doing so according to their own preferences, experiences, and challenges. Everyone has their own personal (or impersonal) relationship with our Savior. At the 2013 Set Apart Conference I saw women from all walks of life demonstrate their relationships with God through hands extended "to the heavens" or heads bowed in reverence or eyes darting shyly not certain where to fix their gaze or what to do with their awkward self. It is truly humbling to engage in a relationship where the other party can drastically alter who you are and how you feel about anything. Sure, I have friends who influence me but with God I have felt this full 360 degree effect.

I was recently reminded of the blind man who was healed and although he could not explain how or why he said in paraphrase "All I know is I was blind and now I can see." For me the sentence would be more like "All I know is before God my marriage was broken and with him it is healing." Pre-Marriage Retreat I did not believe and Post-Marriage Retreat I not only believe but trust. And the blessings have been poured out ever since.

The most delicious part of this relationship with our Savior is that in addition to our prayers being a unique and personal experience, He experiences a unique and personal relationship with us as well. His capacity to hear and answer and experience is far greater than ours but he sincerely wants us to come to him with the bigs and the littles in our life.

Dancing On His Sheds

Day 17: People of the Resurrection

Why is it when you feel really icky and someone calls you because they feel really icky, you start to feel better? (I know my great use of the word icky leaves a lot to be desired). But seriously, I've been pretty miserable this week and my dear friend called me twice to check in and share some of her angst and I suddenly felt better. I would say that misery loves company, but I don't really wish misery on others . . . do I? I don't think I wish it on others, but maybe if someone were to experience pain of their own accord it might just make me feel as though I'm not so alone. I may not feel like I'm the only little "sinner-girl" out here; the only one experiencing the symptoms of pain that this disease has flaked into our world.

 

So this makes me wonder, what's good about all of us being sinners? IT IS NOT GREAT TO BE A SINNER, BUT TO BE A REPENTANT SINNER, AND TO LIVE AMONG OTHER REPENTANT SINNERS WHO RECEIVE HIS GRACE AND MERCY. I make messes, I KNOW I do (Chief of Sinners though I be), but I repent, am forgiven and through the work of the Holy Spirit strive to make my actions match my words. I want the fruit of these vines to be strong enough to witness for Him in one succulent bite. A lofty goal, and a good one.

 

"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."  I love a good party! Luke 15:7

 

I am over half-way through this 30 Day Blog and have learned a lot about myself as I share my thoughts here. I'm not sure that my message always come out as I intend, but that really isn't too important to me. This is an accountability blog. It is for me and my family. To record the things that we have noticed, experienced and hold fast to. There is not part of this journey that grants or requires me to hold others accountable (at least not through this blog). I do not have the power, in myself, to demand that others repent or abide in Christ. I have faith that he'll take care of that if they let him.

 

"For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do-living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead."
1 Peter 4:3-6

 

So while blog my thoughts and my family's journey to live as People of the Resurrection, I don't wish any pain, misery, hurting, or hardship on others. I only offer the advice I got from another dear friend (I am so blessed to have these dear women in my life); the work of living and rejoicing as people of the resurrection really PISSES SATAN OFF (No my friend did not use those exact words, she would never!). He will do what he can to thwart you, he will use the only real tool he has in his slippery tool belt . . . doubt. He will tempt and torture and taunt. I know 100% that is what I am experiencing this week. So I encourage you to do what I will do, VERBALLY CALL HIM OUT ON THE CARPET AND EVACUATE, ERADICATE AND EXHUME HIS SORRY BUTT. Together as People of the Resurrection, we will draw strength and dance on the sheds of his skin.

Feel Like P-O-O?

Day 16: Dance like People of the Resurrection

What to do when you feel like P-O-O:

- Ask for help.

- Find words that offer comfort.

        I turn to www.aholyexperience.com

- Give Thanks, even if you don't feel like it.

- Pray. Even if the only words you can find are

        "God Help Me, God Help Me, God Help Me"

- Pray for someone else.

       At risk of sounding like an REM cliche', Everybody Hurts.

- Look to God's words not your own.

       I used the word "I" 32+ times in last night's post.

- Sleep. God says we need rest, don't defy him.

- Remember that cross you were given at church 

        Put it in your pocket! Duh!

- Have husband give you a massage, just sayin'.

- Dance like your good at it!

Hurting

Day 15: People of the Resurrection

 

I asked Colby to write in the blog tonight. He politely declined. I asked him if he knew what a blog was. He said no.

There are some days I don't want to look at the bright side. My profile name is Half Full, but on days like this I feel a bit more like the glass is bone dry. I am tired of writing this blog and I'm tired of being thankful and I'm tired of being transparent (or at least more transparent than I normally am). Coming up with ways that God lives in and with me is hard work. I think it'd be easier to be ignorant of his presence. I mean he's gonna do what he wants to do anyway; he's the one with the Master Plan. I am incapable of controlling things.

My siblings seems to think I've gone off the deep end. I feel them pulling away, not with their words, but with their lack of words. They don't want me to be that weird Jesus Freak, and they certainly don't know how to interact with me. Must be that I'll spout bible verses at them. Must be that Christians don't have any fun. Must be that when I laugh, I am a hypocrite. I am stuck in this midway that forces me to move in one direction or another: closer to God or closer to people I love.  Do I have to choose? Is there any choice that will draw those I love to me, while I draw closer to God. My heart is breaking.

Ack, as I write these words I find that I can't even complain without drawing him closer. In order to whine about my exhaustion I seek him out to question, blame and cry out to. For someone who once was pretty self-reliant I can't even get angry without bringing God into the picture.

I am sure that there is something in here that I can draw strength from on a better day, in a better place, if I were a better person. Tonight though, I have nothing. I am tired. I am real. I hurt.

May I have this Dance? And the Next? And the Next?

Day 14: Dating the People of the Resurrection

Last night Big D played matchmaker. He has such a great time scoping out the "perfect girl" for his brother and then working up the nerve to talk to this girl on behalf of his brother and then encouraging his brother to go and talk to her. By the end of the night he had a difficult time pulling his brother away from this girl to go home. Today, his brother told him he had been thinking about her all day.

Ahhh new love, it's so fun and nervewracking and consuming all at once. You want to be with that person all the time, you want to know what they think about random things (like crunchy or creamy peanut butter) as well as the meaningful decisions (ELCA or LCMS). New love is both silly and profound. Little quarks are cute and interesting (later they might just be annoying). Attraction can be magnetic and powerful. Attraction is magnified, in part, simply becuse the other is attracted to you.

It's been awhile since Big D and I have lost all sense when it comes to one another. It is more likely now, that we loose all sense over a TV series or a peaceful, quiet house or a great meal. I know, not neccessarily the most romantic of things. But there's something to be said for a practical kind of love as well.

 

Besides, we are both been courted by the greatest of lovers. Within our marriage vows we get to experience the kind of love that not only makes us weak in our knees but is also strongest when we are weak. Getting to know this lover is fun. Not ever being able to understand his love is nervewracking. And his desire for us is definitely all-consuming. He wants to be with us, ALL THE TIME. He wants to be a part of our random and important decisions. He knows our quarks and loves us despite of them. We are magnetized to each other and to him because of his powerful love. His love that has resulted in us living (and dating) as people of the resurrection.

What Makes Big D Reflective

Day 13: People of the Resurrection

See lyrics and hear song here.
Big D told me this song makes him think of our God. I love it when a song has a better meaning then maybe intented. Can you think of any examples like this?

"If I Didn't Have You" Thompson Square

Sometimes it feels like, I'm gonna break
Sometimes this world, gives more than I can take
Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain
And it keeps pouring down
It just keeps coming down.

This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you.

You are my heart, every breath I breathe
I'm safe in your arms, you rescue me.
When I'm weak, you're strong
If you were gone I don't know where I'd be
You were made for me
(You were made for me)

This life would kill me If I didn't have you
I couldn't live without you
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause this life would kill me
This life would kill me if I didn't have you

If you didn't love me so much
(If you didn't love me so much)

This Life would kill me If I didn't have you
(This life would kill me)

Couldn't live without you
I wouldn't want to
If you didn't love me so much
I'd never make it through
'Cause This life would kill me
This Life would kill me if I didn't have you

 

Hide and Seek

Day 12: People of the Resurrection

 

The sun seemed to hide behind the clouds today and I was constantly seeking to find it and relish in its warmth. This cat and mouse game made me think about the game that God and I have played the last 13 days. Admittedly, this game is one-sided, but it has been fun. Some days are easy, He practically knocks me over the head with His wonder and His glory. Other days I search, and search, and search, and ...

We have played this game a long time, God and I. Years even. In fact, it wasn't all that long ago that he enabled me, through his spirit, to really find him and know him like never before in my life. But it wasn't until the past 13 days, when I tried to find him for the sake of living as people of the resurrection that I became conscious of this pursuit. I attribute some of this consciousness to the fact that I feel that, at least in part, I want to show YOU where God has worked in my life so you can see Him more easily on yours. So I seek and find Him, in a Naviation System, in a marriage, in my Memory Foam Pillow, in a bowl of fruit and, of course in the little wooden cross in my pocket.

The funny thing is when I search it is He who finds Me. I often work so hard trying to find him, that I miss what He has been busy doing all the time. I start out thinking it will be my hard work, discipline, practice, prayer and searching that will find Him waiting for me. In fact, in all my haste to find Him, I forget to turn around, to pause, to see that He is there pursuing me.

Ann Voskamp spoke at the 2013 "Set Apart" Conference in St. Paul Minnesota last month. One of the most memorable things she shared was that the Hebrew word for follow in Psalm 23:6 (Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.) actually interprets best as the word PURSUE. Goodness and Mercy are pursuing us. He wants goodness and mercy to be a part of our EVERYDAY. They are trying to catch us and we evade them with speed and with pride. When it comes down to it, I have to ask, who really is hiding and who is seeking?

Hey Soul Sista'

Day Eleven: Sisters of the Resurrection

This one is for the moms. For moms who work at home, for moms who work outside of home; for moms who volunteer; for moms with little children; for moms with grown children; for those who want to be moms and for aunties who are a lot like moms; for moms who think they have it all figured out and for moms who know once they get it figured out the rules are all going to change.

Tonight as I join my family after three days of being away, I pray for you. I pray that the Lord gives you the desire to be where you are right now. I pray that the Lord opens your eyes to the blessings he gives you today and he chases the sick guilt away. I pray that envy has no place in your soul.

For it is in the laundry, the dishes, the dirty floor, the mud, the rain, the stinky dog, the smelly diapers, the sweaty faces, the winter clothes, the less than stellar behavior in public, the less than stellar behavior in private, the upright toilet seat, the empty toilet paper roll . . . It is in these things that we find the blessings of having clothes to wear, food to eat, clean water to drink, we are playful, healthy, active, we enjoy seasons and change. We get to be part of a community and part of a family. We have indoor plumbing and toilet paper.

So sister I pray for you, and I ask that you pray for me. Pray that we are content in living in today, in this moment, whether we are exhausted at home with our kids or overwhelmed with our work away. Let us collectively (Matthew 18:20) lift our weary voices to our God. Our Father-God who knows what it's like to give up a child, who knows all plans for our children and who knows what the hardest kind of work is. Let us lift up each other as sisters of the resurrection.

What's Cooking? Two new recipes

Day Ten: Recipes 4 People of the Resurrection

Neither one of these recipes is awful but one is much sweeter than the other:

Societal Success Salad (makes 6 servings if you’re lucky):
2 lbs. carefully chosen words
8 dashes of self-directed goals
1/2 cup self-worth
3 ounces physical health of the body
3/4 Tbsp. Understanding
6 pieces of sleep and/or quiet
 
Directions: Do your best, achieve rewards and make people proud.


Resurrection Ratatouille (This recipe best when served with humility):
66 Chapters of Truth
1 Plan of our Sovereign God
Thousands of unworthy sinners
Unending Submission to the Body
Heaps of Lack of Understanding
Everlasting Life

Directions: Baste with Prayer; serve in love out of reverence for Him.

The Navigation Lady

Day Nine - Paths of People of the Resurrection

I am amazed by the kind lady-voice on the navigation system in my van. Every time I defy her directions, she patiently gives me another option. She’s not really a woman of very strong conviction but her patience with me and my wrong turns (and my stubborn will) is amazing. She politely requests me to turn left and I tell her, “No lady I don't want to go that way. I know the best way there and I want to go right.” Occasionally, when I'm lost and I'm confused, I do follow her directions and 9 times outta 10, she takes me the right way. But more often than not, I'll take my own route and defiantly listen to her patient voice. She is my company, not my director. As she asks me to go the opposite way I quietly question her; but I want to check out the scenery here, I can go faster on this other road, I want to find it on my own. And yet, I'm still afraid to go it completely alone so I rely on her when I feel like it, but only as a backup. I never turn to her first only when I'm lost and angry. But still, when I turn left after she's told me to turn right, she patiently tells me she'll find me another route and then gives me the next step with a sweet tone in her voice. I deliciously relish in the fact that I'm not listening to what she saying.

As I drive to Baraboo today I realize that this twisted relationship with the lady-voice in my van is a lot like my relationship with God. When I’m pretty certain I know the way, I just go the road “alone.” I tell him I know what is best and my actions claim that I can do it on my own. I definitely still want him there, but only as a backup when my plan fails. Like my navigation system, I want him to always be patient and sweet and kind and he is for the most part; but he certainly redirects me to reroute my life to get me closer to a path leading to him. He is also a jealous God and there are consequences for my misguided navigation. Unlike the voice in my van that changes and bends to my will: the Lord’s path never changes. Instead it is I who have to change.

The asphalt on God’s road is perfect and smooth. There are no potholes, no weathered cracks and it is virtually unscathed from rain, snow and wind. The asphalt on my road, by contrast, is full of potholes, divets and cracks. While my road is not easily torn up, it can be moved. People often refer to the path of righteousness as straight and narrow. I beg to differ. The paths are many and varied. Some paths are wide and hundreds of people travel on them. Other roads are curved and some paths stop at every destination along the way. Some roads are highways with three or six lanes. Still others are slow country roads or even recreational trails.

No matter what road you're on, let the voice that navigates you be the voice of a God who is never changing, always knows best and more importantly than that, always knows the plan for you. His desire for you is to keep you on the path of the people of the Resurrection

Ahhhh Grace

Day Eight: Gracefilled People of the Resurrection

I recently wrote an article for my very secular job on the really non-secular topic of Grace. Well, I applied it to the secular world; grace can be extended anywhere. Being gifted something for which I did not earn or even ask for is almost unreal. Most crowds of people, on no matter what side of the political spectrum we stand, believe they earn or are entitled by their own merit most of what they receive. It is breathcatching when someone gives something out of the boundaries of what we expect to receive.

Like droplets sliding down a glass pane, these grace gifts merge and wind their way together until they are able to nourish what lies beneath. Typically, we experience grace that is small and POLITE. But occasionally grace is like a TORRENT of powerful hydration that knocks us off our feet and carries us through no control of our own into the midst of something beyond our imagination.

I give grace like droplets. I am actually pretty good at extending grace to others (not as much to myself). I see strengths in others that sometimes only a mother can love (or a heavenly Father). And when people are feeling weak, I find that these are the times when they most need a bit of grace to nourish their parched soul.

God gives GRACE like a torrent. I can only speak for myself when I say he brings me to tears and bends my stiff self to float in his Grace. I don't know how he does it, and I don't know why he would want to; but he loves me in a way that keeps me grasping toward him. He is washing past me and encouraging me to swim to meet him and he is pursuing me in my wake begging me to slow down and grab ahold. He is able to give me much more abundantly than all that I think and ask (Ephesians 3:20).

So what does he give me? Practically speaking, today he gave Big D and I hope for something to come in fall (NO IT'S NOT A BABY!). He gave me friends who care for me and my children. He gives me each new day with my mother and father here in this world. He gives me siblings, that I often take for granted, but love so dearly. He is GRACEFUL in new ways each and every day. More recently I seem to be understanding the Grace he has bestowed by allowing me to be part of his family of people of the resurrection.

Apples to Apples

Day Seven: Bearing Fruit as People of the Resurrection

 

For anyone who has tracked and weighed and set goals in Weight Watchers you know that FRUIT is ZERO points. Yup, all fruit is essentially FREE. Working the plan right means that you are naturally encouraged to eat more fruit and you suddenly enjoy fruit even more knowing that it is ZERO points. It doesn’t matter what kind either; your basic apple, a banana or even the more exotic starfruit; it’s all free!

Tonight Big D read from I Corinthians 15:20-23, where God's word talks about Christ’s resurrection as the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. The firstfruits were the most valuable fruits that were brought to the temple by devout Jews as an offering. There is nothing more valuable than the resurrection of Christ Jesus; nothing more important than his game-changing, life-changing rise from the dead. There is nothing more important than his resurrection because without this firstfruit, we would not have the hope for the gift of eternal life.  Oh and by the way, it was FREE! (P.S. I never really liked the word hope when talking about our faith and wish I could find another word. I know that the hope that I am referring to is a certain hope, but I also know that to most people that seems like a contradictory phrase.)

Pastor John Schultz (at St. John Lutheran Church in Plymouth, WI) touched on bearing fruit today in Bible Study. He talked about the fruits that we bear for others, not of our own merit but because of one who gives us the ability and the desire to do for others. (He drew a great picture to illustrate this!) We have talked about this as a family in the evenings as well. Last night we were trying to talk about doing everything to the Glory of God. The example that Colby came up with was “If someone wants you to get them a cupcake then you don’t have to.” We agreed, you don’t have to, but if you do ge them a cupcake then you should do it in a way that is positive and encouraging and God-pleasing. This would not include saying, "I have to do everything for you!" or "When am I gonna get a cupcake?" (How easily I turn from talk of fruit to talk of cupcakes).

I would love to tell you that the Tarjeson family bears the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (GAL 5: 22) HA! The truth is that we fail at exuding these qualities daily. I don’t blog because we/I get it right, I blog because we stink at bearing this fruit and yet God LOVES us. HE LOVES ME. HE LOVES YOU.  If I can remember just once each day to nourish another person with the strength of the Spirit through these fruits than I will be bearing fruit of our resurrected Christ.

A Marriage Post-Resurrection

Day Six - A Marriage Post-Resurrection

Sometimes understanding that your are LIVING as a Christian Post-Resurrection means that you need to make decisions LIKE a Christian. Tonight I will pass on writing a blog and spend a precious few more minutes with my husband while we are both still awake. (Isn't he handsome?)

Family - Peace - Thomas - Community

Day Five - A Family of the Resurrection

Have you ever looked at a family member and wondered, "How did that one end up in our family?" I have to admit, I have. Even my own begotten children have made me pause and think, "Where did that child come from?" Whether it's a radical behavior, a different value system, or simply a matter of varied tastes or preferences. Family can be very puzzling to me. I mean, how did we ever get to be so different?

We didn't get to choose to be a part of our families. We were simply born into them. In addition we are broken people. So even if we did chose our families, our only options would have been fractured men and women and splintered children. Many broken peices do not a perfect whole make.

Pastor Meador spoke to us last Sunday about Peace and Thomas and Unbelief and Community. I had never thought about Thomas as an unbeliever. He only asked for a bit of reassurance. C'mon Jesus can surely provide a bit of evidence. Just a quick look at and a brush against the wounds and his flesh. I guess this is much like the fact that I never thought about myself as an unbeliever just four short years ago.  I just was waiting for my proof, my chance to get some answers. Well, I was not doubting, it was total unbelief.

In the end Thomas and I are still very different. At least Thomas looked to the Christ for his proof. I know that I only looked to myself for justification. On Easter Sunday the pastor of SILO Lutheran Church in Lewiston, MN spoke about the women looking into the tomb for Christ. Like these women looking into the cave, we often look into our empty hearts for Christ. Well, HE ISN'T THERE. Our hearts hold only sinful, ugly, emptiness. Why do you look here? the Angel asked (If only an Angel lived in me) He is Risen!

Our families are the first contacts in our community. They are the first people with whom we can share the Peace that was extended to the disciples, and to us, by Christ shortly after his resurrection. (Can you imagine? He grants us peace after such a gruesome scene the week before.) But what about those differences? Those bizzare twists of nature and nurture? In humility count others as more important than yourself (PHIL 2:3). . . this message is posted near my phone at work and applies to family too. The opposite of Pride is Humility and I could use any reminders I can get to be gracious and humble. As I pull out my cross from my pocket I am reminded of one who always placed others before himself, and because of this I was born into his family of the resurrection.

Getting Attached

Day Four: A Resurrected People

I have a pride problem. It comes out at various and sneaky points in time. I really think I can do most things on my own and I typically think my way is usually the best, even if I let you do it your way. Even this morning I was thinking about how flawed we are as people and how I would have designed us differently. Yes, when you think you can do things better than God, that’s a pride problem.

In addition, my pride got the better of me this morning when my dog ate my cross. Boy did he get an earful (luckily the kids had just gotten on the bus). Yes, my beautiful striped cross, with the grain that resembled teardrops of the weak and weary. I guess God thought I was focusing a little too much on the symbol and not enough on the sin it might represent. I tried to develop a beautiful analogy of Ezekiel prophesying something profound (my dog’s name is Zeke). Later in the morning, however I was cautioned not to get too carried away with the analogy. Point taken. (Even though I learned that God told Ezekiel to eat the scroll of his word . . . now that’s funny, right?)

But seriously, how often is it that we get hung up on the person, the messenger, the symbolism and miss the message? God is with us on the most hectic of mornings, during the most peaceful of dreams and during the rantings of a crazy woman whose dog ate her cross. But guess what, there is always more crosses to go around. When I went to school to drop off my son’s cross (which was left on the table beside mine) I asked for another and I received one. So literally, THERE IS ENOUGH CROSS TO GO AROUND.

There is cross for the bitter, angry, depressed. There is cross for the willing and able. There is cross for the hungry and thirsty. Jesus Christ died for all, name after name, sinner after sinner. There is no sin or sinner that is left off the list. Those other sinners are loved and cherished and extended the same gift that I am. I love them despite their struggles, because I struggle. It might be pride or anger or any other number of ways that I mess up, but I am counted and the cross is for me too. I hope this new cross does not have to see Zeke’s teeth, but how blessed am I that the gnashing of teeth will never be something I need to bear because I am a child of the resurrection.

Better than Memory Foam

Day 3: Resting as Children of the Resurrection

Years ago, when my sister-in-law asked me (prior to her becoming a mother herself) what the best part of motherhood was. . .  I told her, adamantly, BEDTIME! I was only half kidding. The bedtime ritual of reading stories, giving kisses, hugs, and snuggles really is a favorite time; so is the quiet of the home when all are sleeping. Some days I am ready for bedtime when I walk through the door. Other days I could make the bedtime process last for hours.

I have learned over time that everyone has a different threshhold for tiresome things. For me, building new relationships, talking and sharing can be really, really exhausting. I love people and am not too terrible at conversing, but it still can be tiresome.  When we talked last night about being tired Colby said he gets tired when he sees other people yawn. Asa knows that he is wiped when he spends lots of time outdoors. Paige gets tired from just watching the dog close his eyes. Big D, he is tired of worrying.

Christ tells the Tarjeson's tonight in devotions, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Sweeter rest than my memory foam pillow, I ask? Most certainly. The kind of rest I get with TWO ear plugs in at night? Yup. How about rest like letting go of a long-time hurt, or turning over a lingering fear, or cool relief on a burning worry. Now that's more like it.

God gives Moses these words of comfort before he passes his goodness before him, before he sheilds him in the cleft of a rock and protects him with his hand and allows him to see his back, resting in the peace that he will be with him always. Imagine Gods hand sheilding you from your tiresome issues.

Living as a people of the resurrection is a lot like finding rest. We don't need to practice our problems. We should stop replaying them in our mind. Rehearsal for our worries is never a neccessary evil. Instead find rest in him. Stroke the smooth cross in your pocket and remember that in him we are to be still, know peace, and find great joy. Rest in knowing we are a children of the resurrection.

A Bloody Ugly Heavy Cross

Day Two - A Family of The Resurrection

It was Bloody. Full of Slivers. Heavy. Imperfect. Smelly. Rough. Ugly. Not at all like these pretty little smooth crosses that fit neatly in our pockets. So light we easily forget we are carrying them around all day. Not at all like the shiny silver and gold crosses that hang around necks and adorn ears and maybe even decorate our homes and churches. No we (my family) decided the "real cross" must have been a pitiful, horrible, disgusting thing. It had probably already seen death before; been a party to the punishment of crucifiction. A sign of humiliation.

Last night our devotions happened to be about whispering God's name to remind us that he is always listening. But as Jesus Christ labored over each breath and painful step with the crushing weight of the cross on his back, who's name did he whisper? Most certainly he called upon his Father God, just as we do.

The first day of carrying my pretty little cross stunk. I was crabby and depressed and it rained and the LAST place I wanted to be was wherever I was. I vented to Big D through a text. He sent his condolances with a reminder . . . "Do you have your cross?" I am not as good as other women about bragging when my man gets things right but let me make up a bit for that right now. He said the PERFECT thing.

The kids and I were reminded that this cross in our pockets is not a lucky charm, it holds no magical power, it doesn't make us stronger by carrying it and it isn't for others to even know we have it on us. But when Big D asked if I had it with, I was reminded that my crabby, grumpy, whiny attitude was not living as a woman of the resurrection. Seriously? Poor me I have to work at a job I love and with people who have a profound and eternal influence on me??? Eesh, I am embarrassed just to think about my actions.

The verse from our devotion was one of my favorites, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever." I was thrilled to see the rest of my family hear and take comfort in this truth as well. So when did the kids remember that they had a little cross in their pocket? Paige had a fitness test and beat a personal record, she remembered then. Colby was quick to remind her it wasn't a lucky charm. But we talked about the strength of Jesus Christ on Good Friday (and always) and I think it's o.k. to remember where all strength comes from. Colby mentioned that several other students had theirs on their desk and he was proud to know his was in his pocket too. He was a part of this family of beleivers. Asa, the little one who was the most excited to get his in the first place, lost his. I'm sure we'll find it, but since he is the one always reminding us that Easter is everyday, I think he'll do o.k. until we replace it.

Yesterday I was one person, today I am someone new and in forever I rely in the hope of certainty that I will be something entirely different altogether. But Christ, he is that certainty . . . ALWAYS. When he was a child, when he was an adult, when he was beaten, when he carried that big UGLY cross. He was and is and always will be. . . PERFECT. I guess I'll take a crabby day and a pretty featherlite cross over his bloody, putrid one anyday. And the best news is, I can do this because I am part of a family of the Resurrection.

Hairs on Our Head . . . Really?

Day One - Living as People of the Resurrection

He is Risen. Three simple words burnt onto a small wooden cross. Each of us got one, even Asa. He might have been the most excited of all of us.

As a part of St. John Lutheran Church in Plymouth, WI we are being challenged to LIVE as though we are people of the resurrection. Our pastors are taking extra special attention to remind and teach us about the gift of "being born" into this family and receiving the legacy that is life in and with Christ who paid the ultimate sacrifice.

So the Tarjeson's also take this challenge on. With Big D leading our family in devotions each night, we have recommitted to making our lives look more like the one who gave it all for us. It's a bit intimidating actually. I am sure we will fail, but we pursue it anyway.

So yesterday the Tarjeson family stuck those crosses in our pockets and fished them back out after evening devotions. We looked at them . . . real close. Each of us decided what was unique about our crosses. Colby's cross had freckles. . . just like the ones he seemed to sprout over a week at Grandma T's house. Asa's was lighter in color and the cross in the center nearly touched the side of the wood. Paige (a ray of sunshine herself) had a cross with a spot that seemed like the sun rising over Calgary ,as if to hint at a promise to come. Big D had a litte chip out of one side of his cross, almost too small to notice; but if you looked closely (as our Savior surely does) you can see that it is not perfect. My cross, which I am very partial to already, has beautiful streaks of wooden grain in it; as though tears have rolled down it, making it beautiful but already worn.

We used these unique differences to talk about how, although it may seem that God couldn't possibly notice what we need or want, he knows each of us by heart. If WE can tell the difference between these crosses, which seem to be all the same, how amazing is he that he knows us. Not even just those things that are visable either. Colby is in awe that God knows every word he is going to say, even before he is gonna say it. I am in awe that God, not only knows my hearts desires, but he knows which of those desires are best to bless me with and how to bless me by denying these desires as well.

As the kids left for school this morning we read the Cross In My Pocket poem. We may have to reread it each day, but as I hand out each child's cross I say a prayer that this child will know that they are special, unique and cherished. They are cherished by their mother, but more importantly by a Savior who knows them more intimately. A Savior who knows the very hairs on our head (Luke 12:7), no matter how messy they are. They each get to have their own relationship with he who loves, died, and is risen. We aren't always pretty but we are . . . a family of the resurrection.